God, help me let go of my shame and needless fears about what will happen to me if I really start caring for and loving myself.įrom the book: The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series Today, I will let any after-burn which sets in after I practice a new recovery behavior, burn off. We don’t let the after-burn convince us that we are wrong and don’t have a right to take care of ourselves and set boundaries.ĭo we really have the right to take care of ourselves? Do we really have the right to set boundaries? Do we really have the right to be direct and say what we need to say? We don’t have to take after-burn so seriously. Many of us grew up with the message that what we want and need isn’t okay. Many of us grew up with messages that it wasn’t okay to be who we were and resolve problems in relationships. Many of us grew up with shame-based messages that it wasn’t okay to take care of ourselves, be honest, be direct, and own our power with people. The after-burn is what we allowed to control us all our life-shame and guilt. When we start confronting and attacking feelings and messages, we will experience some after-burn. We do not have to allow these feelings to control us. Anything to do with owning our power and taking care of ourselves can trigger feelings of shame, guilt, and fear. This is a common reaction to new, exciting recovery behaviors. “How could I do it? How could I say it? Even though I meant it, I still feel ashamed, guilty, and afraid.”
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